We expect women to come to us, to say our land is fair, and then settle down with us in matrimony.
When we find that this isn’t happening, we become fustrated, and seperate ourselves, and grow bitter.
The fact of the matter is, we need to be, in essense–more entish. Treebeard is one of the few characters in Lord of the Rings without an ego, as someone pointed out to me recently. (I just finished my annual lenten re-read of Lord of the Rings, so bear with me here.) He is that which he is. I think we need to be more like that. We can live without our entwives, so to speak. We don’t really need them. We can live as whole people in the fullness of God without pining over a past or a future that is probably not going to come to pass–simply because we never really know what the future is going to be, anyway.
In fact, it’s not a “can”. It’s a “need.” We need to be complete before we love.
The nature of the fact is that we are too ego driven to really realize this. And sometimes we may never be able to achieve it. But the least we can do is try. And then maybe we can find our companion. Or maybe not. In the long run, though, it doesn’t really matter. If we strive to live without ego, we will find ourselves more satisfied to begin with.
We seemingly expect women to bend to our will. Perhaps it should be the other way around. Or, better yet, perhaps we should bend towards each other in an egoless fashion. After all, there is no “I” in marriage.
(Well, unless you’re trying to spell it. But I’m not talking about spelling, I’m talking about subduing the ego. I ain’t talking about spelling.)