We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.–Abraham Lincoln
A few days ago, something happened to me that had never happened before. I was stood up for a date. I had traveled all the way to Flagstaff, hoping to meet up with a woman I had met in the tasting room, only for her to never show up for the rendezvous which we had planned. What was I to do? There were a few ways one could approach this: calling the woman in question angrily, right away, and causing a scene, viewing myself as some sort of horrible unlovable beast, or simply to deal with it matter-of-factly.
I chose the second. At the wine bar I was at, had a glass of Reisling (I needed to get familar with Washington reislings anyway), then found a bottle of a delicious Arizona malvasia to take home with me, sat and read my book for a while, and then went to my favorite pizza place in town to grab a few pizzas to take home for my parents and myself. While I was there, two friends of mine from Jerome randomly came in, worried about not having a corkscrew for a bottle of Malbec they had purchased. “Ah,” says I, “I have one in my car.” The night in Flagstaff ended with the three of us eating pizza and wings, along with an incredibly bright meteor on the drive back home.
The point is, I didn’t let the situation bother me, and I moved on to other things. I took advantage of the situation I found myself in, and acted accordingly. Being a Gentleman is often about this option, because it’s a better attitude. It’s healthier to move on, and keep doing things, then to stew on what seems like a failure. The more you stew, the more depressed you get, and then the depression leads to fear, and fear leads to anger, and anger leads to personal suffering, along with your friends and family suffering around you. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Granted, this isn’t always easy. I admit, if this had been even a month or so ago, I would have probably been furious and decide to becoming a hermit, or something rediculous like that. It’s hard to detach yourself from these actions at times, and maintaining the proper attitude to rejection is often hard.(as detailed in an earlier post: http://orthogents.com/2013/10/18/on-rejection-as-a-gentleman/)
As stupid and childish as it might seem, having a good attitude, and being able to roll with the punches really does help.